Do you know those relationships that just seem to get more and more stressful? We’re talking about the kind where you and your partner are constantly arguing, or maybe they’re always angry at you.
Relationships are hard. They’re full of ups and downs, just like life itself. But there’s one difference: you can take care of your relationship for it to stay strong through thick and thin.
To lead a fulfilled life, one needs to build some good relationships. But the statistics suggest that an average relationship lasts for just 2 years and 9 months in the US. Nevertheless, you can work on your relationship to improve it.
Read on to learn some tips for managing a stressful relationship, so it stays healthy.
Be Aware of Your Behavior
The best way to manage a stressful relationship is to be aware of how you may be contributing to the tension. Here are some ways that you might be making things worse:
- Being defensive and attacking your partner when they try to point out a problem in the relationship.
- Being overly critical and judgmental when your partner does something that bothers you, even if it’s just an innocent mistake.
- Being overly emotional, especially when there’s a disagreement between the two of you. It sends the message that your feelings matter more than their feelings do.
- Trying too hard to control everything about the other person’s behavior.
Figure Out Why the Relationship Stresses You Out
There is no shortage of advice about how to manage a stressful relationship. However, if you’re not sure what’s causing the stress in the first place, it can be difficult to find solutions that address your specific issues.
Oftentimes, the root cause of your relationship-related anxiety is buried under layers of other problems (like work stress or financial concerns). It can feel like an uphill battle trying to dig down past those issues and get at what’s really bothering you. But there are ways to figure out exactly what’s getting on your nerves, and once you do, figuring out how to make things better will be much easier.
Here’s one technique we recommend: take five minutes at the end of each day and write down five things that happened during that day and why they made sense or didn’t make sense in relation to one another. Keep asking questions until you reach some kind of answer about what might be causing some friction in your relationship.
Consider Counseling or Therapy
Call it the growing stress of lifestyle or decreasing patience, but if your relationship is valuable to you, going to a professional counselor will be helpful. Therapy is a popular medium for understanding the many stresses in a relationship.
According to the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, couples and families who attend therapy sessions indicate higher patient satisfaction.
Over 98% of the people surveyed who have attended therapy have said that they were happy with their couples therapy, and over 97% of those surveyed felt they got the help they needed.
Statistics suggest that 50% of married couples divorce in America, with bigger states like Texas registering a divorce rate of 10.5% in 2022. If you live in a state like Texas, you will know that the need for professional counseling is growing. You can easily find a therapist in Texas with a quick Google search. Or you can ask your friends and family in Texas for recommendations.
Understand the Motivations Behind the Other Person’s Behavior
It is important to understand the motivations behind the other person’s behavior. You should try to think of your partner’s actions as a reaction to something you have done or as evidence that they are struggling with something in their life.
It could also be possible that they view things differently than you do and therefore act differently than you would expect them to. Sometimes people communicate through actions, not words, so maybe your partner is trying to tell you something without having an open conversation about it first.
You deserve a healthy relationship and if you’re in one that isn’t giving you what you need, walk away. Your relationships should be a source of stability and peace, not a source of stress. If someone is driving you to distraction (and vice versa), make sure they’re worth it before committing yourself further to the relationship.
There will always be people who are toxic to us, whether because they’re difficult to deal with or because we’ve simply outgrown them as friends or lovers. The most important thing to know is that there’s no need to put up with that toxicity.